STORY 1. Friends and Lovers

          Anna and I had known each other since forever. Aside from being classmates since we were in first grade, we eventually became neighbors around the time we reached 5th grade. It was not until high school though, that we became close friends. Anna is a small girl with a big attitude. What she lacked in height, she made up for it with her personality and her talent. She loved to dance and she was really good at it. She would always join dance contests and shows and a lot of times she and her group would win. Whenever I see her dance, I always thought to myself that she was born to dance. And it was through dancing that I had met Ryan and Keith.

          Keith, Anna, and I were in the same grade from the same high school. Ryan, on the other hand, was younger than us and was from a different school. Although Ryan was from another school, he, Keith, and Anne would sometimes join together to perform. Keith was the nice guy. He was not particularly good looking but he was sweet and timid but can be brutally honest and serious at times. Ryan was the popular kid in school - good looking, funny, often loud, and seldom serious. Anna was the cutie in the group. Sometimes easy going but most of the time has a don't-mess-with-me attitude. She was the literal definition of "small but terrible." And there was plain old me. A book-loving, speech-writing, glasses-wearing plain Jane. Although I was must say, I had a banging body back then. Ahem 😝. Originally, I was not a part of their group. I was into ballroom dancing while they were into modern, pop, and hip hop dances. But since I always tagged along with Anna whenever they practiced, I eventually became close to Ryan and Keith. The four of us became the best of friends. There was not a day that we wouldn't hang out. Whether it be simply walking home together from school, having movie marathons, road trips, food trips, or going to the beach. I was a depressed kid back then and those three were my escape and second home. Everything was great and dandy until a certain confession. 

          On regular school days, Anna, Keith and I would hang out the most since we were school mates. But as Anna and Keith both joined the school's literary-musical contest, Ryan and I hung out more often than usual. Having recently broken up from my then-boyfriend (and man it was a hell of a breakup, but that's for another story), I found comfort in Ryan's company. Coincidentally, Ryan also broke up with his girlfriend. We were closer than ever that people would assume that we were already a couple. Naturally, I started developing feelings for Ryan. But as the months went by, we still remained friends. Although I liked Ryan a lot, I didn't want to confess. I lived in a conservative, Christian country after all 🙄. Ryan was sweet and caring to me but I didn't want to get my hopes up because he was always like that from the start. He was a natural flirt. I didn't want to assume, but I thought then that he hasn't gotten over his ex yet. Crazily enough, it was during those times when my feelings were wavering that Keith was dropping hints that he was interested in me and he was trying to make it obvious.

          My attention started to shift from Ryan to Keith. Keith was easy to like. He was a good guy and I saw the sincerity in him. Still, I was hoping for Ryan to make a move. But when nothing came, I decided I would face Keith's direction instead. I said "yes" on the day he confessed to me. I thought that everything would be fine, but strangely enough, Ryan acted weird around us. And there was a noticeable tension between him and Keith. I shrugged it off as Ryan being moody and just having a bad day until I saw a letter in my school bag, tucked between the pages of my notebook. It was from Ryan and he wrote it two days before Keith confessed to me. I was devastated. Anna was there when this happened and I told her the letter was from Ryan. She understood right away from the look I had on my face. She asked me if I regretted dating Keith and if I wanted to break up with him. But I had already made up my mind and I chose Keith. Ryan hung out with us less and less and if he was there, he wasn't his usual loud and easy-going self. But then one day, he was back to his old self, like nothing had happened. I was relieved because finally, everything was going back to how it was before. Or so I thought...

          Keith and I started going out on dates. But the more dates we had, the more I realized that we were not compatible at all! I was very showy, he, on the other hand, was very reserved. One time, while we were with our friends, I rested my head on his shoulder and he immediately shrugged me off and told me that I was humiliating. I was insulted and it hurt my pride. There were also instances when he would say something insensitive to the point where I would be speechless. The worst part was when I showed up to his practice and he blatantly ignored me but proceeded to flirt with another girl while I was there! Perhaps my mind was just exaggerating everything. Perhaps it was all real. Even so, what I did next was very stupid and inexcusable, and Keith didn't deserve it. 

          My heart started to waver again and I started comparing Keith and Ryan. I started to miss the times when Ryan and I would hang out often. Then my stupid ass convinced myself that there was nothing wrong with hanging out with Ryan alone because we were best friends after all 🙄. I know, I was a stupid bitch. It wasn't long when we made a mistake - we kissed. It was wrong and we knew it. We betrayed our best friend Keith. I betrayed my boyfriend. Keith found out about it somehow and it was a mess. My mind was a mess. I felt so guilty and bad for what I did and I was too much of a coward to own up to it that I attempted suicide by overdose. I took the pills in front of Ryan. He was obviously shocked and frustrated. He couldn't do anything but just take me home. When we reached my house, I collapsed and fell off Ryan's motorbike. The last thing I saw was Anna and Keith running towards me.

          I was in the hospital for a few days. Ryan, Keith, and Anna visited me from time to time. Ryan and Keith eventually made up and promised each other that they would never fall the same girl again. Anna was hella pissed with me. I then realized that Anna had feelings for Keith all along. I realized I was an awful friend 😔. How could I have not noticed it? Or perhaps I did but I was just too full of myself. We, too, promised to never fall for the same guy again.

          Months past and slowly everything went back to how it was. Somehow I felt that this was the real starting point of our true friendship. I learned a lot about love, friendship, and loyalty from this experience. From this point on, I never betrayed any of my best friends again. Although we did had our share of fights and misunderstanding; some even last a few years before we even talked again but we somehow managed to patch everything up. We're already 30 years old and the four of us are still best friends. We have our own families now and we had all significantly matured, but we'll never forget the time when we're just 14 and we were friends and lovers.